Look ma- I'm famous!

Will the real Suzanne please stand up?

So this post is a little late, but who am I kidding, they've ALL been late?

Anyway, I'd just like to thank the Academy, God and, oh yeah! my parents, for naming me Suzanne. Because really that's the ONLY reason I'm going to be on Japanese TV.

The scene: Friday night after work. I'm tired with hardly any make-up left after five classes (the last three of which are with children) and the tired expression of someone who needs food and sleep- in that order, because who eats after they're asleep? Sometimes my coworkers and I will go out after work to have a drink or dinner, but usually I get off work first and dip out to go to the gym so as to avoid as many calories as possible. I'm what people call "an emotional eater" and when that emotion is boredom I eat even more. It's great to live so close to a bustling city like Tokyo, but honestly it's quite a hike for me to get there and the metro shuts down around midnight. That makes being trapped in Tokyo until 5am a real possibility for someone like me who works until 8pm, takes at least an hour to get ready for any outing, and who is prone to alcoholic excesses. SO anyway, my coworkers and I decided to go to a very close restaurant about 2 blocks from my house called Kansai (named after a region in Japan) that specializes in a Japanese food called okonomiyaki- kind of a pancake that you can add various items like seafood or cheese that make it DElicious. Many restaurants in Japan seat you at your own table that's mostly a giant metal fry area where you can cook it yourself and so is pretty fun with a group of people.

So we were leaving work and for some reason my manager Ryota and our Japanese English teacher (JET) Nozomi were quite insistent that we needed to get to the restaurant for our reservation. Luke (the other Native English teacher) and I were puzzled at being hustled out, but didn't think too much of it. Once we left the mall, we walked behind the parking lot (the route I always take to get home) and saw a young woman approach us: "Are you the real Suzanne?" "Uh..." At this point I was in "HOLY SHIT" mode: how the fuck do I know this chick? Many, MANY times I have had drunken nights where I meet nice or interesting people or do really asinine things without remembering jackshit about it. And in Japan I had made more than a couple mistakes with a few women at the gym where I mistook one woman for another as well as seeing a couple of the gym staff out of their trainer clothing who noticed me and I was left stammering to stall for time while I remembered who the Hell they were?

And let me just add to this that she looked kind of crazy. I mean, huge bow in her hair, crazy earrings (one was a giant guitar and another with the word LOVE where it makes a giant square-shape), crazy pink dress and of course, asking me weird-ass questions. She was quite beautiful, though, and contrasted well with my make up-less, shaggy, haggard, horribly surprised expression. Let it be known that I won't be leaving the house or work again without make up.

So then I attempt first contact:
"Oh! HEEEEeeeeeyyyyyy- how are you?" HolyshitHolyshitHolyshitWhoareyouFUCKSHITDAMMIT!

Then she turned to my manager and started speaking Japanese- WTF?! THEN five guys and another girl (two of the guys with cameras that had bright lights attached) came over and then the first girl was standing to my right and the cameras were rolling. I turned to Nozomi with a look that must have been a mix of puzzlement and terror. So Nozomi said "She is very famous and her name is Suzanne. She's been waiting here to talk to you. She has been looking for you." Turns out she's a young Japanese idol with the stage name Suzanne, very famous and who has her own show. There was some contest to find the "real" Suzanne because her real name is Sae and not Suzanne. Anyway, she needed to find another real Suzanne within 24 hours to win this contest, which, by the way, earned her 1,000,000 yen- about $10,000. Of course, I only found out about this AFTER she left with her crew.

Anyway, she asked me a couple of questions (through my Japanese-speaking coworkers, of course), like:

Fake Suzanne: "Do you watch my show?"
Me: "Uh...YES! Of course!"
Fake Suzanne: "No really, do you watch my show?"
Me: "Sorry, I don't watch any TV and technically my television is under my futon to make room for my laptop. But I guess I could start watching your show."
She also wanted me to say "My name is Suzanne" in Japanese- THIS I actually know. And in between this exchange we also kind of goofed around pointing to each other and saying stupid shit about us having the same name. We also hugged a lot and had a group hug with my coworkers. As she was signing autographs for my manager I noticed a small crowd across the street forming who promptly shouted her name as she got into her production bus. That's when I realized that maybe she might be kind of famous and that I should Google her after dinner.

Since then my manager has put flyers up with the picture we took with her and also made handouts for our students. The show will air June 13th from 2-3pm here and I hope to get a copy from any of the various people who will record it.

So...thanks Mom for naming me Suzanne.